I’ve reviewed the tape several times, and frankly, I see nothing I like. Multiple harnesses with multiple attachments. Metal clips and plastic fasteners and plastic bags of various sizes, along with the suggestion of Velcro. Between the leash and the collar, all these added accoutrements imply a level of restraint entirely at odds with the whole proposition of “going for a walk.” No thank you.
It occurs to me that H. Sapien has forgotten that just because a thing can be done, doesn’t mean it should. Several years ago, after my balls were removed, some of you sent me neuticles – prosthetic testicles to help with my self-esteem. I honestly thought it was a joke, until I saw the photos online. Now, I’m convinced the Boxer around the corner and the Beagle next door are walking around with faux nuts. It’s unseemly.
Of greater concern, is the presence of magnets. As a rule, I don’t like magnets, and after watching them at work here – in slow motion – I like them even less. Honestly, I can’t tell if these magnets are the traditional type best known for grabbing onto steel, or if some bipedal necromancer has developed a whole new kind of magnet – the kind of magnet that can actually suck the poo right of my bowels and straight into the bag. Because that’s sure as hell what it looks like in this video, and I do not care for it. No sir, not one bit.
A quick glance at The Biped’s wall today reveals two things of passing interest. First, it appears that 4 million people have decided he’s worthy of their friendship. Secondly, it appears that someone has developed a product that allows me to crap directly into a bag. I have no idea if these two occurrences are in any way related, but both seem equally unlikely, and correspondingly astonishing in their own right.
To my fellow canines, I say this – if your testicles are gone, deal with it. You’re not alone, and frankly, you’re better off without ‘em. And bipeds – if you don’t like picking up dog crap, get a cat, and congratulate yourselves he dumps in a box. Do you really want to live in a world where nobody knows where to pee and all the dogs have to crap in plastic bags held from their asses by magnets? If you ask me, it’s time for somebody to grow some neuticles and quit looking for the easy way out of everything. Sometimes, you just gotta pick up the crap.
PooTrap Magic Poop Collector
What is the best dog poop scooper?
The Activedogs Best Ever Pooper Scooper is a hinge-style device, made in the United States of rust-resistant aluminum. Our tester selected the tooth version to pick up dog poop from grass, gravel, and dirt, but there is also a flat-edge style made for flat surfaces like concrete, tile, and wood flooring.
What should one do if they are having trouble pooping?
If one has difficulty pooping, otherwise known as constipation, this can be prevented or treated by increasing dietary fibre and fluid, doing regular exercise, trying abdominal massage, and taking laxatives.
How much does a pootrap cost?
This is the PooTrap, an elaborate apparatus that you strap to your dog. It holds a bag in place right about where the you-know-what comes out of the you-know-where. It costs between $30 and $40 depending on the size of your dog. People, listen. If you can’t tolerate the thought of picking up dog crap, then don’t get a dog.
What is a pawler dog poop rake?
The Pawler Dog Pooper Scooper has a sturdy rake with durable tines and a large tray for picking up poop, both fresh and old, and of all shapes and sizes. Our tester found the long handles to be beneficial when reaching for waste around their yard.